-By Political Editor
(Lanka-e-News -17.April.2025, 10.35 PM) In the wonderfully wacky world of Sri Lankan politics—where yesterday’s villain is today’s visionary and tomorrow’s meme—comes a plot twist even Bollywood might reject as “too unrealistic.”
Dilith Jayaweera, the self-declared saviour of Sinhala civilization, Media Mogul, close Friend of the Former President Gotabaya , the billionaire with a fondness for flags and “patriotism packets,” has unveiled his mayoral candidate for Colombo.
Wait for it.
Hassan Alaldeen,
Yes, that Hassan Alaldeen.
The name alone sounds like a magician who might pull democracy out of a hat. But in reality, Hassan is better known in political circles not for magic tricks—but for something even more mysterious: his years spent as the private secretary to the ever-controversial Rishad Bathiudeen.
Yes. That Rishad.
The man whose political resume is thicker than a CID investigation file, who had more ministries than most politicians have shirts, and who—post-Easter Sunday—became the human version of a political “Do Not Disturb” sign.
And now Hassan, his former assistant, is Dilith’s pick to “clean up” Colombo?
This isn’t politics. This is stand-up comedy wearing a national flag as a cape.
Let’s rewind.
Dilith Jayaweera has long portrayed himself as the Rambo of the Sinhala Right wing Buddhist—pushing a brand of hyper-nationalism wrapped in lion flags, Facebook memes, and conspiracy theories that make even your uncle at a village pola raise an eyebrow.
He’s been anti-Muslim, anti-NGO, anti-West, anti-woke, anti-Tamil, and anti-anything that doesn’t say “Motherland” every five seconds.
So imagine the shock on his loyal base’s face when Dilith emerged from his Colombo strategy bunker and announced:
“Ladies and gentlemen, meet Hassan Alaldeen, my Colombo mayoral candidate!”
Cue the awkward silence. Somewhere in the distance, a patriotic violin string snapped.
Because this isn’t just a Muslim candidate. This isn’t just a Colombo boy. This is a man who, until very recently, was running around Parliament carrying Rishad Bathiudeen’s briefcase like it contained the secrets to national security (or at least the Minister’s dinner order).
Let’s take a peek into Hassan’s political past.
During his time in Pelmadulla, Hassan’s name made an appearance in a case involving—no joke—a failed suicide bombing attempt allegedly connected to his uncle, one Liwaudeen, a former Urban Council chairman who, according to village lore, had a flair for fireworks not approved by the Fire Department, try to suicide himslf inside the Tea factory belongs to Pavithra Vanniarachi, a SLPP shitty mouth female politician.
Of course, none of this is proven. But then again, in Sri Lankan politics, rumors are more reliable than the weather forecast.
Still, one can’t help but ask: if your resume includes “handled logistics for a politician linked to Easter Sunday bombing suspects” and “related to a man who allegedly tried to blow himself up after a council meeting,” maybe the mayoral race isn’t your next logical career move?
Maybe, just maybe, stay in private sector logistics?
Ah yes, Ali Sabry.
The former foreign minister and now unofficial political matchmaker of the year, who reportedly introduced Hassan –Alaldeen to Dilith Jayaweera. One imagines it went something like:
Ali: “I’ve got a great guy for your party. Loyal. Smart. Knows politics.”
Dilith: “Perfect. Has he ever, I don’t know, worked with jihadists?”
Ali: “Define worked with…”
And just like that, Hassan went from ‘Rishad’s Guy’ to ‘The People’s Guy’, courtesy of Dilith’s bottomless campaign budget and apparent inability to Google.
Insiders say Dilith has already spent millions on the Colombo campaign—and is increasingly frustrated that his shiny new candidate hasn’t exactly rallied the Muslim business elite the way he promised.
As one aide reportedly put it:
“Sir, instead of votes, we are getting vibes.”
Now, the attempt to rebrand Hassan Al-Alaldeen as a neutral, clean, post-ethnic progressive is so bold, it deserves a spot in the Guinness Book of Spin.
Social media is full of gleaming posters: Hassan posing with children, feeding pigeons at Galle Face, shaking hands with poor aunties in markets. He’s been airbrushed to look like a spiritual combination of Barack Obama, Mr. Bean, and Rauf Hakeem.
But none of that changes the fact that he once typed Rishad Bathiudeen’s letters, possibly arranged his press conferences, and allegedly tried to get people out of awkward legal situations with equally awkward phone calls.
The public isn’t buying the makeover. The online comments range from:
“Is this Dilith’s way of reaching Muslim voters?”
To: “Bro, just field Bathiudeen himself next time, at least we know what we’re getting.”
The biggest irony? Dilith Jayaweera was once the ideological DJ for the Gotabaya Rajapaksa presidency. He helped remix nationalism into electability, creating a “Sinhala-only” banger that gave us two years of rolling disasters.
He even stood on stages demanding the arrest of Rishad Bathiudeen post-Easter Sunday. And now?
Now he’s pushing Rishad’s former PA as the future of Colombo.
You can’t make this stuff up. This is a political U-turn so sharp, even Namal Rajapaksa would say, “Machang, that’s a bit too flexible, no?”
The question on everyone’s mind: Why would Dilith do this?
A few theories:
He didn’t know.
Maybe Dilith genuinely had no idea about Hassan’s past. In which case, one must ask: What kind of party vetting process involves blindfolds and wishful thinking?
He knew but didn’t care.
He thought Colombo voters would forget. He assumed that with enough social media filters and posters, the past could be erased like a whiteboard.
He’s playing 4D chess.
Perhaps this is an elaborate trap to provoke other parties into attacking Hassan, thus gaining sympathy votes. But this is Sri Lanka, not “House of Cards.” We barely play checkers properly.
He’s just broke and desperate.
Having spent millions already, maybe this was the only candidate who came with his own lunch and the promise of “at least 5,000 Muslim votes.”
The response has been explosive.
SLPP supporters are confused.
“We thought he was our man. Now he’s hugging Rishad’s ghost?”
UNP is amused.
“Even we wouldn’t go this far,” chuckled a member who once defended Arjuna Mahendran.
NPP supporters are dancing.
“Another week, another Dilith disaster. We’ll take it!”
Meanwhile, Hassan Al-Alaldeen has gone quiet. No press briefings. No statements. Just smiling posters and vague promises of "Colombo First" while everyone else is screaming, “What about Easter Sunday First?!”
In the great circus of Lankan democracy, we’ve seen many acts.
A field marshal with a foot in his mouth.
A president who forgot to govern.
A PM who went from saviour to spectator.
But this—Dilith’s pick of Hassan Al-Alaldeen—might just take the medal for “Biggest Political Comedy of 2025.”
Because in a time where truth is under siege, accountability is dead, and memory is shorter than a Twitter video, we find ourselves asking:
“Is this a joke, or just Sri Lankan politics being its usual self?”
To which the answer is always: Yes.
-By Political Editor
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by (2025-04-17 17:07:55)
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