-By Special Correspondent
(Lanka-e-News -27.March.2025, 11.10 PM) In a plot twist that surprises absolutely no one, Wimal Weerawansa, Sri Lanka’s self-proclaimed patriot and full-time protest enthusiast, has announced a grand demonstration on April Fools’ Day. Yes, you heard that right—on the one day of the year dedicated to pranks and deception, Weerawansa has chosen to take to the streets to protest against UK sanctions imposed on certain Sri Lankan individuals. The irony is so thick you could spread it on a slice of bread.
Wimal Weerawansa, a man known for his unwavering dedication to... well, himself, has urged the public to gather at Vijayarama, declaring that this protest will send a strong message to the world. What message, exactly? That he’s a fool? That he’s really, really good at protests? Or that he misses the days when he could hand out government vehicles like party favors?
The timing of this protest couldn’t be more poetic. April 1st is a day where people play tricks on each other, and for years, Weerawansa has been pulling off some of the biggest political pranks in Sri Lanka. Remember when he staged a hunger strike in front of the UN office, only to be miraculously "saved" after sipping a king coconut? That performance deserves a standing ovation—preferably at a theater, not in government.
Of course, Weerawansa’s patriotic actions haven’t gone unnoticed. Sri Lankan authorities have been very interested in his financial adventures, particularly his impressive talent for distributing state vehicles like a game show host handing out prizes. From siblings and in-laws to monks and journalists, it seems everyone in Weerawansa’s circle was lucky enough to get a free ride—literally.
Here’s a quick breakdown of how Sri Lanka’s most generous politician managed to spread the love:
Family First: His sisters, their husbands, and even a home cook somehow ended up with government-issued vehicles. Move over social welfare—this is true family planning.
Friends in High (and Low) Places: If you were a close ally or a conveniently placed supporter, chances were you had a vehicle courtesy of the Sri Lankan taxpayer.
Media Puppeteers: Even journalists got in on the action—because what’s better than a little positive press when the heat’s on?
Despite these minor inconveniences (also known as corruption allegations), Weerawansa remains unfazed. Who needs accountability when you have a megaphone and a passion for protest?
While Weerawansa is preparing to rally his supporters, many Sri Lankans are preparing their own April Fools’ jokes—perhaps a fake announcement that he’s finally going to retire from politics? Or that he’s returning all the vehicles? Or, the wildest prank of all, that he’s suddenly become an honest politician?
Whatever happens, one thing is certain: if this protest goes as planned, Weerawansa will finally achieve his goal of making headlines. Unfortunately for him, they’ll likely be in the comedy section.
-By Special Correspondent
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by (2025-03-27 19:03:54)
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