-By A Staff Writer
(Lanka-e-News -27.March.2025, 11.00 PM) In the latest installment of "Sri Lankan Politics Gone Wild," MP Chamara Sampath Dassanayake found himself in the hot seat after being accused of swindling funds meant for preschoolers' school bags. Because, of course, if you’re going to commit fraud, why not do it at the expense of tiny children just learning the alphabet?
The Commission to Investigate Allegations of Bribery or Corruption (CIABOC) swooped in today, dramatically arresting Dassanayake, who was then paraded before the Colombo Magistrate’s Court. While he managed to sweet-talk his way out of two charges with bail, the third charge refused to budge, much like an ATM that won't dispense cash when you need it the most. The judge ordered him to remain behind bars until April 1—perhaps as an early April Fools' prank.
According to the charges, back in 2016, Dassanayake—then the Chief Minister of Uva Province—decided that preschoolers needed school bags so badly that he allegedly demanded money from three state banks. Two banks, apparently in a generous mood, handed over LKR 1 million and LKR 2.5 million, respectively. But instead of ending up on the backs of eager young learners, the funds somehow found their way into his personal foundation’s bank account. Whoops! Must’ve been a clerical error.
Unfortunately for Dassanayake, the third bank had a rare moment of common sense and refused his request. Undeterred, the MP allegedly pulled a reverse Robin Hood move, withdrawing fixed deposits belonging to the Uva Provincial Council as if it were his personal piggy bank.
CIABOC reports that this series of accidental financial miscalculations cost the government a cool LKR 173 million—just another day in the Sri Lankan political scene!
While the MP will now spend the next few days getting used to prison life, we can only wonder what’s next. Will there be an official investigation into missing lunchboxes? A grand jury for stolen school shoes?
One thing’s for sure: if there were an award for "Most Creative Ways to Misuse Public Funds," some politicians would have a trophy cabinet overflowing with gold-plated bribes.
-By A Staff Writer
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by (2025-03-27 19:08:17)
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