A Political Fantasy Like No Other
(Lanka-e-News -26.March.2025, 11.45 PM) Ladies and gentlemen, brace yourselves for the political masterpiece of the century—Dilith Jayaweera as President and Ali Sabry as Prime Minister of Sri Lanka. If that doesn’t sound like the plot of an absurdist comedy, I don’t know what does.
Once upon a time, in the hallowed halls of Sri Lanka Law College, two young men—one from Galle, the other from Kalutara—allegedly had a conversation that would change history (or so they now claim). Dilith, the media mogul-turned-kingmaker, and Ali, the lawyer with a knack for defending the impossible, apparently looked deep into each other’s eyes (platonically, of course) and said:
"Machan, one day, you be the PM, I’ll be the President!"
And thus, a grand political fantasy was born.
But why take the long road to power when there’s always a shortcut? Rather than patiently building a political base, contesting elections, or developing actual policies, our dynamic duo chose the express lane: backing Gotabaya Rajapaksa.
We all know how that turned out.
Gotabaya’s presidency was the political equivalent of a bakery fire—burnt to a crisp before anyone could enjoy the bread. When things went south, Gota did what any responsible leader would do—packed his bags and fled the country. And where were Dilith and Ali when their anointed leader needed them? Perhaps busy drafting their next master plan, now conveniently free of Gota’s baggage.
Dilith Jayaweera, a man whose media empire once thrived on fueling Sinhala nationalist rhetoric (including some interesting conspiracy theories about food sterilization), now wants to be the poster boy for ethnic harmony. That’s like a pyromaniac applying to be the fire chief.
On the other hand, we have Ali Sabry, the man who not only defended Gotabaya in court but also stood by as the government enforced forced cremations on Muslims during COVID-19. At the time, he assured everyone that this was a public health measure, only to later apologize when it was too late. The best part? The Islamic hierarchy in Saudi Arabia is now reportedly investigating whether he’s even still a Muslim. A fatwa declaring him haram might be the only thing that could save his reputation at this point.
And yet, despite all this, these two now want to lead Sri Lanka? What’s next? Nandasena Rajapaksa making a comeback as the Finance Minister?
Now, let’s talk about Dilith’s other talents—his adventures in the Colombo Stock Exchange. If you ask him, he’s a brilliant entrepreneur. If you ask his critics, he’s a magician who can make certain things disappear faster than Gotabaya at an airport check-in counter.
While ordinary Sri Lankans were struggling with power cuts, fuel shortages, and inflation, Dilith’s business empire somehow kept thriving. How? Well, that’s a story for another day—unless, of course, he’d like to explain it himself before someone else does. Tick-tock, Mr. Jayaweera.
But wait! There’s a twist in our plot. Dilith, sensing that Sinhala nationalists might not be his best bet anymore, is now suddenly reformed. He’s a man of the people! A friend of minorities! Someone who cares about justice and democracy!
What’s next? A Ramadan special on Derana TV featuring Dilith Jayaweera breaking fast with Muslim leaders? A Tamil New Year speech in Jaffna where he sheds tears for the war victims?
At this rate, we wouldn’t be surprised if he starts calling himself Dilith Mohammed Jayaweera just to secure a few extra votes.
So here we are. A media mogul with a nationalist past and a lawyer with a controversial present, dreaming of running Sri Lanka together. What could possibly go wrong?
If history is anything to go by, the only guarantee is this: Sri Lankans are in for a front-row seat to another spectacular political disaster. So grab your popcorn, folks. This is going to be one hell of a show.
-By A Staff Writer
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by (2025-03-26 18:34:48)
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