-By: A Special Correspondent
(Lanka-e-News -15.Jan.2025, 5.40 PM) In the cozy, rumor-laden corridors of Colombo's diplomatic circles, a certain name has been on everyone's lips lately—Thusitha Halloluwa, the self-proclaimed oracle of Sri Lankan politics and part-time storyteller. His latest tall tale? That President Ranil Wickremesinghe, the man known for outlasting political seasons like a coconut tree in a monsoon, is plotting to overthrow the NPP government by March.
Predictably, this has sent diplomats into fits of laughter, investors rolling their eyes, and the media wondering if they should file this under "political satire" instead of "news." But Thusitha’s flamboyant past, colorful connections, and downright bizarre antics make this story too juicy to ignore.
Thusitha Halloluwa, who has mastered the art of switching political loyalties faster than a tuk-tuk changes lanes, is now positioning himself as the harbinger of doom for the NPP government. With the current administration holding a supermajority in parliament and a mandate larger than Thusitha’s ego, his claim sounds like a script rejected by Netflix.
According to Thusitha, Ranil Wickremesinghe, with the help of Vajira Abeygunawardena, is concocting a grand conspiracy to topple the government. How exactly they plan to do this remains a mystery, even to Thusitha, who conveniently skips over the "how" and dives straight into the "when"—March.
The diplomatic community, of course, is having a field day. One ambassador reportedly quipped, “If Ranil could overthrow a government with a supermajority, he wouldn’t have lost half his elections.”
This isn’t the first time Thusitha has been the subject of eyebrow-raising gossip. Remember his infamous New York escapade? Let me refresh your memory.
Thusitha, during a UN session with then-President Maithripala Sirisena, somehow managed to find himself in a hotel room with not one, but two male companions. The incident, whispered about in diplomatic circles with the kind of hushed tones reserved for state secrets, was almost exposed during the UN proceedings.
Was it a misunderstanding? A prank gone wrong? Or just another night in the bizarre life of Thusitha Halloluwa? We may never know. But one thing is certain: the man knows how to keep things interesting.
If political rumors and international misadventures weren’t enough, Thusitha’s personal life could fill an entire season of a Sri Lankan soap opera.
Let’s talk about Janaka Ambagahawatte, Thusitha’s alleged boyfriend during the Yahapalana era. Thusitha reportedly purchased a penthouse at Emperor Residencies in Colombo 07 under Janaka’s name. It was all sunshine and rainbows—until Janaka decided to bring a girlfriend to the penthouse.
Enter Thusitha, stage left, accompanied by a group of thugs. What followed was a scene straight out of a gangster movie. Janaka ended up with a broken leg and arm, courtesy of Thusitha’s temper, and had to be rushed to medical care by the building’s management.
For those intrigued by the details, a visit to the Kollupitiya Police Station might provide more juicy tidbits.
It doesn’t stop there. During the Rajapaksa era, Thusitha was allegedly tied to Chelinaa Corporation, a company linked to Gamini Senarath. While Thusitha has since reinvented himself as a critic of corruption, his involvement with such ventures raises more than a few eyebrows.
Is it irony, hypocrisy, or just the natural evolution of a “seasoned political pimp,” as some have so eloquently put it? Whatever the case, Thusitha’s past makes it hard to take his self-righteous claims seriously.
Thusitha’s antics have reportedly earned him the label of “political cancer” in Colombo’s diplomatic circles. Sources say he has been banned from several embassies, a distinction that’s both impressive and embarrassing.
One diplomat remarked, “We’re here to build bridges, not deal with someone who burns them faster than he switches political allegiances.”
While Thusitha spins tales of coups and conspiracies, his partner-in-rumor, Vajira Abeygunawardena, adds his own flair to the narrative. Together, they’re like a Sri Lankan version of Abbott and Costello, but with less comedy and more unsubstantiated claims.
Their latest assertion? That the NPP government is on the verge of collapse, and that they’re orchestrating another Aragalaya-style uprising.
But here’s the catch: thus far, there’s zero evidence to support their claims. Are they trying to rattle investors? Solicit funds from dubious sources? Or is this just a desperate attempt to stay relevant?
Thusitha Halloluwa’s remarks, much like his career, are a mix of unintentional comedy and deliberate misdirection. From his New York misadventures to his penthouse dramas, the man is a walking headline.
But beneath the humor lies a serious question: why do people like Thusitha, with their checkered pasts and questionable motives, continue to wield influence in Sri Lankan politics?
Perhaps it’s time to stop laughing and start holding them accountable. Until then, we’ll sit back, enjoy the show, and wait for Thusitha’s next outrageous claim. Who knows? Maybe he’ll start predicting UFO landings next.
Thusitha, if you’re reading this (and let’s be honest, you probably are), here’s a little advice:
1. Focus on facts, not fiction.
2. Maybe stay out of hotel rooms with too many people—it’s clearly not working out for you.
3. If you’re going to spread rumors, at least make them entertaining enough for Netflix.
And to the rest of Sri Lanka: let’s not get distracted by Thusitha’s theatrics. There’s real work to be done, and it’s high time we stopped letting political opportunists like him steal the spotlight.
Until then, Colombo’s diplomats will continue to laugh—and so will we.
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by (2025-01-15 12:15:30)
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