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The Great Sri Lankan Election Fizzle: Why SJB, Gas Cylinder Party, and Others Can’t Keep Up with the NPP Tsunami..!

-By Political Editor

(Lanka-e-News -12.Nov.2024, 11.45 pm) It seems this election season, the usual suspects — SJB, the “Gas Cylinder Party,” and a host of Tamil and Muslim parties — are huffing and puffing but struggling to ignite even the faintest flicker of public support. Meanwhile, the NPP, led by the now practically sainted Anura Kumara Dissanayake, appears to be racing toward a sweeping two-thirds majority. How, you ask, did the NPP turn into an unstoppable juggernaut while its opponents are tripping over their own slogans?

Well, grab your popcorn, because the answers are as theatrical as the election itself.

SJB: Struggling to Deliver the Punchline

The Samagi Jana Balawegaya (SJB), under Leader Sajith Premadasa, started with promise. But if an election were a comedy act, Sajith is the guy who starts a joke, stumbles halfway, and forgets the punchline. For all his attempts to sound people-focused, he’s still having trouble making his message stick.

Rumor has it, the SJB’s strategy team spent half the campaign trying to decide whether they should fight the NPP or “borrow” some of its ideas. “People need change!” Sajith has repeatedly declared. Unfortunately, it seems the only thing changing is the size of their support base… steadily decreasing.

One anonymous SJB insider, who may or may not have been holding a bottle of aspirin during our chat, said, “We thought ‘Hope for a Better Sri Lanka’ would be a hit. Now, we’re realizing that the only thing better than us… is literally anyone else.”

Gas Cylinder Party: Inflated Ambitions, Little Spark

What can be said of the Gas Cylinder Party — formally known as the SLPP — that hasn’t already been joked about over tea? Known more for gas shortages than policy proposals, this party’s newfound energy (pun intended) behind former President Ranil Wickremesinghe has left voters scratching their heads. How, after all the recent economic gasping, is this still a political brand?

In a typical SLPP rally, you’ll hear them talk about “development,” “stability,” and “vision.” But when voters look back on the shortages, skyrocketing inflation, and long fuel lines, the word they remember most about the SLPP is “gas” — and not in a good way. “If they were a restaurant,” quipped one local, “they’d serve empty plates and call it ‘minimalist dining.’”

Tamil Parties: United…ly Divided

Tamil parties, meanwhile, appear to have perfected the art of self-sabotage. They started strong, with bold demands for regional autonomy and minority rights. But if you were to peek into a party strategy meeting, it’s likely you’d witness heated debates over whether they should focus on national, regional, or local issues — or, perhaps, just settle on a catchy campaign song.

Instead of uniting, Tamil party leaders seem committed to a fierce battle of one-upmanship. “We are the true voice of Tamil interests!” one leader shouts. “No, we are!” replies another, leading voters to wonder if these voices could, for once, form a coherent sentence together.

“They’re so busy competing with each other that they’ve forgotten they’re actually supposed to be fighting the NPP,” said a bemused Tamil voter. “It’s like watching a school play where every kid wants to be the star, but no one remembers their lines.”

Muslim Parties: Struggling to Win Back Their Flock

If you think the Tamil parties are divided, welcome to the world of Muslim political parties, where unity is often just a distant ideal. With a mix of competing agendas, Muslim leaders have managed to make an NPP supporter out of even the most loyal community members. Why? Because NPP’s Anura has convinced a large swath of the Muslim community that he actually listens — a concept seemingly lost on their own leaders.

“These parties talk about ‘community interests,’ but the community has to remind them what that means every few weeks,” joked a Muslim business owner. “Meanwhile, Anura’s out there saying, ‘I’ll listen to you and represent everyone equally,’ and the crowd goes wild.”

This failure to adapt has only widened the appeal of the NPP. “I don’t think the Muslim parties realized how much goodwill they’d lost over the years. It’s like a bakery that forgets how to make bread, while the bakery next door offers everything fresh.”

Why the NPP is Riding High: The Anura Factor

And then there’s Anura. Somehow, this everyman politician has captured the hearts and minds of the electorate by doing something shockingly simple: acting credible. He’s promising change, focusing on anti-corruption, and, most importantly, has the aura of someone who cares.

“I never thought I’d support a politician,” said a disillusioned former SJB voter, “but here I am, waving an NPP flag, because at least Anura doesn’t make me cringe.”

Anura’s biggest strength is that he’s been upfront about the country’s challenges and hasn’t shied away from calling out past corruption — even if it means offending a few political “friends.” And unlike his rivals, he’s also willing to listen without making campaign promises sound like a comedy routine.

The Final Act: An NPP Sweep?

So, as Sri Lanka heads into election day, all signs point to an NPP landslide. And while their opponents struggle to drum up enthusiasm, the NPP seems to have the ultimate trump card: a leader who understands what people want.

Of course, there are no guarantees in politics, and as one Colombo resident mused, “This is Sri Lanka; there’s always a twist at the end.” But for now, it looks like the NPP, under Anura’s steady hand, has become a political tsunami — leaving the SJB, SLPP, and others caught in the undertow, clinging to their dwindling support bases and hoping for a miracle.

And as they say in politics, if you can’t convince them… you might as well keep your resume updated.

-By Political Editor

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by     (2024-11-12 18:46:33)

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