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The SJB’s Wobbly Rollercoaster: A Cautionary Comedy of Campaign Chaos..!

-By Special Correspondent

(Lanka-e-News -31.Oct.2024, 11.20 pm) In the strange and bewildering world of Sri Lankan politics, nothing quite compares to the spectacle of a general election campaign season. Particularly when it involves the SJB (Samagi Jana Balawegaya), where whispers, wild accusations, and political theatrics mingle to create a veritable feast of entertainment — albeit unintentionally. And if there’s one thing the SJB’s ongoing saga proves, it’s that sometimes, reality really is stranger than fiction.

Imagine, dear reader, a grand game of political dodgeball. On one side, you have the SJB leader, Sajith Premadasa, bracing himself for accusations volleyed at him from all directions — including, allegedly, his own camp. Leading the chorus are party insiders Mujibur Rahman and Marikkar, who seem to have taken up investigative journalism as a side gig. What’s more, the spotlight has now shifted to alleged shady dealings involving missing items from the President’s Palace after President Premadasa’s tragic death.

Yes, you read that correctly. According to these new-age political sleuths, someone seems to have misappropriated items from the presidential household all those years ago, selling them to auction houses around the globe. The punchline? The profits allegedly funneled their way into Sajith’s account. Now, let’s all take a moment to imagine Sajith himself on a glamorous, international art-dealing spree, haggling with collectors and buyers over antiques and trinkets. Ah, the glamorous life of a political leader.

The Grand Conspiracy Theory

What started as a rumor has now become the nucleus of hushed conversations between SJB heavyweights, from Kabir Hashim to Imtiaz Bakeer Markar, all the way to Ranjith Madduma Bandara and Naleen Bandara. If rumors are to be believed, they’re practically queuing up at the “Exit SJB” sign, worried about the potential fallout. They’re even whispering, over their morning coffee, about how “this case will expose” and derail the entire campaign.

The SJB’s chairman, Mr. Imtiaz Bakeer Markar, has reportedly found himself in the unenviable position of answering probing questions from senior members. One would imagine him feeling like a teacher in charge of a particularly mischievous class of students who are all trying to avoid detention.

But if you think the SJB’s problems stop with a handful of concerned members, you’re in for a treat. Enter Mrs. Kaviratne from Matale, who has apparently become the unofficial oracle of the party’s fortunes. She’s been heard proclaiming that the SJB’s fate will be “hammered” — her words, not mine. But what precisely does she mean by that? Is she predicting a series of unfortunate events, or simply foreshadowing the campaign’s doom with ominous flair?

The Great Political “Distancing” Campaign

As rumors spread like wildfire, SJB members are rumored to be scrambling to distance themselves from Sajith, fearing that his association could be more of a burden than a blessing. The same members who once praised his “unwavering leadership” are now trying to avoid sharing a platform with him. In fact, it’s become something of a sport to see just how far one can position themselves away from Sajith in photo ops without making it glaringly obvious.

For Sajith, one might say the SJB’s inner circle is currently in the “social distancing” phase — only this time, there’s no pandemic to blame. Meanwhile, some of the party faithful are left scratching their heads, wondering what exactly happened to their once-promising leader, and why the SJB’s “Unity and Progress” motto now seems as tenuous as a knock-off Rolex in Pettah.

The Curious Case of Waning Popularity

Then, there’s the question of popularity. The SJB is reportedly polling at a new low, and they’re having a tough time finding solace even among their core voter base. Diplomatic channels that once turned a polite ear to the SJB now seem to have lost their contacts. Muslims are reportedly “up in arms,” Tamils are increasingly disinterested, and Sajith’s appeal seems to be fading faster than a Sri Lankan soap opera plot twist.

Sajith’s team might as well be fielding a customer service hotline. One disgruntled supporter after another, dialing in to ask why the campaign seems to have less momentum than a three-legged tuk-tuk. “Why aren’t you doing more?” they demand. “Why don’t you care about our issues?” They’re not just questions; they’re reflections of a disillusioned base. In the cutthroat game of Sri Lankan politics, disillusionment is a poison far more potent than scandal.

And the Comedy Rolls On

It wouldn’t be Sri Lankan politics without a healthy dose of irony. After all, this is a party whose tagline once promised sweeping change, accountability, and transparency. Yet, here we are — transparency achieved, but not exactly in the way they had hoped. The SJB campaign has become a masterclass in how not to win friends or influence voters.

But perhaps the most comical element is the sheer theatricality of it all. Political accusations are a staple in Sri Lankan elections, yes, but a possible art-theft scandal involving missing household items? That’s new territory. And to see party members speculating over Sajith’s involvement is like watching a soap opera, complete with dramatic plot twists, undercover “investigators,” and mystic predictions from party oracles.

So, as the SJB continues its campaign, one can only wonder what’s next. A haunted painting surfacing in an auction house in New York? An antique tea set with ties to the Premadasa era? With this party, anything seems possible. And for us on the sidelines, it’s all a bit too entertaining to look away.

In the meantime, Sri Lanka waits. Will the SJB pull off a comeback? Or will their campaign crumble under the weight of rumor, intrigue, and a little too much enthusiasm for antique speculation? Time will tell.

-By Special Correspondent

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by     (2024-10-31 18:54:15)

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